Directions:

  1. Someone asks "Where is (insert person name)?"
  2. Activate the Cubemate Location Device (pick up dart and throw)
  3. Read result from chart below

Cubemate Location Chart:

Point ValueResponse
0 I haven't seen him yet.
1 He's not in yet.
2 He's getting a bagel.
3 He's installing computers/He's rebooting the web server.
4 Championship pool tournament.
5 He was drafted into the military and is serving our country proudly in foreign countries.
6 The CIA has told me to disavow all knowledge of that person.
7 I think the aliens got him.
8 Purchasing large amounts of animal feed.
9 He's in Potter.
10 Gone drinkin.
11 I think he went to a job fair.
12 In class.
13 He's on his smoke break.
14 Training for a NASCAR race.
15 Bathroom break.
16 He went to the Windows World convention in LA.
17 Clippy attacked him.
18 He's in Mexico for tax reasons.
19 Upgrading the network infrastructure for parallel, redundent, high-speed file access.
20 He's at lunch.
21 Drinking fountain.
22 Jury duty.
24 Campaigning for public office.
25 He is in a meeting to discuss your problem.
26 He's dead Jim.
27 I can't tell you due to that FBI guy around the corner.
28 He's in a lab.
30 He's in the machine room.
32 The network ate him.
33 He said to tell you, "(insert string here". He said that you would know what that meant.
34 He ate Atomic flavord wings at Veno's and is in the hospital to have his appendix removed.
36 Scotty beamed him up.
38 He left to follow the rainbow to a pot of gold.
39 He's trapped in the basement.
40 Venture capitalists gave him a bag of money to start a web-based company.
42 One word, "(insert word here)".
45 His brain had a kernel oops and he had to leave.
48 Sssh, he's asleep under his desk.
50 I don't know where he is, only that he is working on your problem right now.
51 I don't know who you are talking about.
54 Consult your inner chi and the answer will become obvious.
57 Wax on, wax off.
60 He's not coming back until you buy him a lunch.