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Josh’s Quotes #6

(24-28) And then [in thermo] I felt like I started understanding more, so I felt like it started getting higher. And we had the strength class that I had, we only have two exams in the semester. And our first exam, I ended up doing very well on. So that really boosted my confidence as long as with doing well in these other classes. And that was right before we went on winter break.

(34-38) And then right when I came back, the classes almost unexpectedly have just seemed like a whole bunch more work, and not just in the classroom but outside the classroom with extracurriculars, seemed to be increased. So it kind of took a fast down slope. And I had multiple exams, I had two or three weeks where I had an exam or two every week. I was constantly walking around stressed. It was just a very difficult time. And obviously made it through it, and I did relatively well, but some of the grades weren’t as good as I’d like them to be. But it was still a stressful time.

(306-310) So the low point, I’d say was mostly because of stress, not because of any grades I was getting. Because I just felt like with all of the things I do on and off campus, and all my classes, I was constantly going somewhere and doing something. So I would feel like I don’t have any time in the day to relax, which is bad for me, because if I don’t have time to relax, then I’m just burning myself out day after day after day.

(311-312; 336-337) . . . the way that I got through that was through a combination of committing—It was more, what’s the word? I planned out more so, when I was going to do my work and how I was going to do it, than just going along and seeing what would happen. It’s having everything in the Google calendar and being able to look ahead and say this is when I can afford to take a break, this is when I have to do my work.

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Josh’s Quotes #11

[75-132] Then classes started. I was feeling little down because I missed the experience over the summer. The second week of school, I found out there is the sophomore year award. It’s awarded by highest GPA. Over the summer, they have allocated $500 to me. After that it was a pretty even point for two weeks. Then everything started to get harder. Because of all the stress, my first exam was on the down curve. However, I did well on the exam. I had so much work to do. It was hard to stay motivated. I have to give up my leisure activities. Two weeks ago. I was supposed to be taking an exam, but I didn’t understand the material. I was overwhelmed. There was one day I spent 12 hours working on lab reports. I was trying to find new habits and working with friends to find new ways to achieve goal. I had the second machine design exam during fall break, and I did very well. Hopefully I can maintain it for the rest of the semester.

[239-373; 430-439; 467-489; 526-539] This semester has been the hardest I have ever had in my life. I never had a mentally challenging experience. I wouldn’t be here without my professors. I get enough amount individualized of help that allows me to be successful. I have five lectures and two labs. I have a thermodynamics lab or a fluids lab which builds on the thermo class last semester. I also have a microprocessors lab for my degree. Machine design is the longest class. Professor has a notepad. Everyone in the room knows each other fairly well because it’s not a huge program. He keeps us engaged by making jokes.

For system modeling and analysis, we’re modeling a system, predicting its performance and optimize it. It’s been a difficult class because the professor is new. It was a big transition for her. She was just out of grad school. She was expecting us to know a lot of things that we didn’t learn before. There’s homework that’s due every week. With the thermo lab, the first week we do a demo with machine we’re working with. Then we have supplemental activity to do with the data on our own. The lab report is on an A3 size piece of paper. It’s printed out as poster. It definitely teaches me have to simplify after getting complicated results. We had a class learning how to use programs. It’s a supplemental. The memo format is a one-page summary report which most people had anywhere from eight to 12 pages.

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Joy’s Quotes #5

[6-9; 394-403; 428-444] In winter of 2018, we were finishing up the hardest semester so far. So, my third semester, and as final exams were coming, I ended up not sleeping for 52 hours in order to finish everything, and so that was probably the worst part of engineering in the past two years. I realized that I need to go to counseling, and I need to talk to the engineering professors and say, hey, this is a problem. You cannot put any other class through what we went through because that is insane. It’s different if one person was having issues and debating things that shouldn’t be debated about themselves, but if the entire class was having issues, I’m like, “It’s not an entire class of people who are struggling mentally.” It was the classes problem.

So I was able to talk to my professor about the problem because I attend a small school. I was able to go into my professor’s offices and say, “Each of you have assigned major things that are due this week.” I know some of those are hard deadlines because we have people coming from other companies to come to [our university] and judge us on our poster presentation. Since the external judges tell us what they think of how our engineering program is doing, we were unable to negotiate the due date. However, other assignments like take-home exams, and large homework assignments that did not need to be scheduled that week were rescheduled. So, I was able to negotiate with my professor and say, “Hey can you move this deadline to a couple days from now? Then hopefully I’ll be able to get it done by the original deadline. But it just gives us the opportunity to put it off for a little bit and spread things out more evenly.” So I guess being able to negotiate with my professors and work with them helps me navigate the low points of the semester. I knew that they would do that. So that was comforting, and then realizing that I made it through last semester so I can do this.

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Joy’s Quotes #6

[9-16] But after around Christmas break things got better because I was dealing with the stress and recovering from last semester. Then I moved into the [short] term which at my school is a time when you take one class that meets five hours a day for five days a week for the entire month just like you would any other class. The [short] term was intense, but easy. Then towards the end of the [short] term I was getting pretty worried that the spring semester would be similar to last fall.

[17-26] But as the semester started things got significantly better and I realized that last semester was a fluke, and it’s not supposed to be like that. It’s supposed to be hard but not that hard and about four weeks in I realized I had a lot of free time, and that was nice to be able to hang out with people outside of my major, and get eight hours of sleep a night like I wanted to, and eat on a regular basis, and feel confident about the homework that I was submitting. So, I life was going well. As the semester went on a bigger assignment was due and it sort of brought up feelings from last semester on when everything started piling on, and it just became overwhelming. So, I was just overall stressed out.

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Joy’s Quotes #7

[204-217] This semester I’m taking a course called principles of engineering, which involves learning about how both mechanical and electrical interact, and the analogies between them. This class was supposed to be harder than the one I took last semester. Initially I was thinking, “It’s just going to get worse.” And I’m like, “There was no way that I can do what I did last semester again: Just physically or emotionally, or I was still worn out. I was feeling better, but I was still worn out, and so I was just very scared that it was like I’d, “Like after all this time that I put in am I going to flunk out again? And am I going to be…”

So I was preparing myself for the absolute worse and then it ended up not being so bad, and I actually ended up dropping a class to decide to take it over the summer, because I was irrationally having so much anxiety over this semester that I was just like, “I can’t handle this. I need to take a break.” So, I’m down to 14 credits instead of 17, and it’s been really good. The class with the new professor is not fantastic but I’m not failing it, and I don’t feel terrible about myself in that class. I’m not getting A’s but I’m also not failing. So that makes me happy and I’m sleeping and eating.

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Joy’s Quotes #8

[264-267; 270-312] The professor for principles of engineering is actually the chair of the engineering department and he was actually my boss for the satellite project that just got launched into outer space actually last week. Since I had had him as a boss before I felt like I could talk to him one a more personal level than my other professors, and sort of say like, “Hey, are the sophomore classes not doing well? We are very concerned about this class that you’re teaching now.” Because the former professor that taught both circuits and this principle of engineering class, the group of them has left and so that’s why we had new professors for each. The chair of the engineering department was not the one that taught the class last semester. So, they split it up.

Anyway, so he said, “Well, don’t worry about that all.” And he’s like, “From what you’ve probably heard about me I’m an excellent professor.” He’s like, “I’m not trying to boost myself up and make myself look good, but I haven’t had bad reports come back from students. They all like the way that I teach.”

And I knew that I shouldn’t be worried because he was an excellent boss and very lenient. Very good at his skills towards explaining things and engaging his students I knew was really good. Yeah, so the semester started, and he addressed the class on the first day and he said, “We’re just going to talk about, the first lecture we’re going to start out easy. We’re going to go over what you think you know from last semester and we’ll make a list of the things that you think you know, and the things that you were supposed to know from last semester. And we’ll talk about…” He’s like, “I’ll give you a little bit of an intro on myself. Sort of my life story and you can ask whatever questions, and doubts that you have about the semester.” Either in his class or any other class. And that made us all trust him a lot more, and that just set up the semester for success.

Since then he’s done an excellent job of having engaging lectures where he asks questions on a regular basis. If anyone looks confused, he calls them out and he’s like, “Hey, you look confused. What can I do to explain this?” And if he can’t fix it in a couple minutes then he says, “Come to my office hours.” And labs go pretty well too. He’s excellent at answering questions and providing adequate instructions. As the semester goes on the goal of this class is to develop your mind into thinking like an engineer so he gives you, instead of giving you step by step instructions like he did for the first lab it’s more of you have a drone. So, this is our final project. We have a drone and we are supposed to make a thrust measurement system.

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Joy’s Quotes #10

[557-568] Now I’m pretty positive about this. That this is where I’m supposed to be. I am good enough to do this and maybe I’m not good enough to do this, but the fact that I work hard and that my professors are willing to help me through this. No one can get through engineering if they’re just all by themselves. You’re human, you can’t, yeah. So professors are there to help instruct you and yeah, so they’re the reason that people are not homeschooled to get their bachelor’s in engineering. That’s not the way that works because you can’t do it. So I’m looking forward to having these mentors, these professors as mentors over the next couple years and increasing my knowledge of engineering as I get internships over the next couple summers. Crazy to think that next summer is my last summer before I graduate, but after the summer I only have one more internship because I’m thrown out into the ocean and expected to get a real job, and keep it for more than 12 weeks.

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Joy’s Quotes #17

[80-82] My engineering internship was a lot of fun, and kind of helped me regain my confidence in my engineering abilities and just kind of get myself out of the academic mindset.

[248-269] Because it was so difficult a year ago. Then, I was just so tired from trying that two semesters ago. This last semester, I was just really discouraged in my abilities to work through my classes and the homework. I was just talking with a friend about this, that it’s gotten to the point where the last time I can remember feeling like I’m actually good at something was high school. Because, you try, you don’t understand something in calculus, you just read the textbook one more time, and then you got it. Whereas, heat transfer is something, you fail a quiz, and then you do fine on the homework and that’s because you spent hours and hours and hours on it. Then, you fail a quiz, and then you fail a test, and it just keeps going. In other cases, getting A’s on things, and I’ve come out of the classroom, like, “Yeah, I have an A- in this class or an A, but I really don’t feel like I understand this.” I’m just fighting to go through that course.

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Joy’s Quotes #18

[261-269] So, it is kind discouraging to feel like I’m not good at this, and how am I going to make it through engineering? How am I going to make it once I get into the real world if, even when I get A’s and things, I still feel like I have no idea what I’m doing? So, it is really encouraging to talk to engineers and say, basically that, “Yes, your classes set you up with a foundation, but that’s not necessarily what you’re going to be doing. You’re not going to be applying the second law of thermodynamics, necessarily, on every single day of your life. You don’t have to have that memorized and understood perfectly and be able to implement every equation you ever learned in that class. Because, girl, you know you’re not even going into something that requires you to use that class.

[270-273] Or, I mean, differential equations. You’re not going to be using differential equations every day. It’s just like a foundation. And, because we live in a world with technology, and you can Google things, and you have mentor, senior engineers around you, you don’t have to have all this stuff memorized. It’s all about learning.”

[274-289] I think the process of having this internship and just the number of times that I went through designing and implementing small projects just made me realize that’s where I was. I would go to the senior engineers and be like, “I’m not sure how to solve this.” And they were like, “Yeah. Me neither. That’s why we asked you to do it.” We don’t all have the answers. The whole point of engineering is not that you go to a textbook and suddenly have the answers. That you figure it out. It’s made me realize I enjoy figuring things out. Whereas, academically, it’s not really about figuring it out. It’s about, you better know this on the exam and be able to regurgitate everything, and perfectly. Whereas, in industry, you’re able to make mistakes. Hopefully not big ones. But, make mistakes and you learn from those mistakes. So, it just gave me confidence in the ability to be an engineer. I think the people that I intern with said that they would love to have me back next summer, or even hire me while in term. And so, I was like, “Wow.” It was a success, and I was like, “Okay.” Engineering is not necessarily what college makes it out to be. And so, it’s just a nice reset button on my thinking of what engineering is.

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Joy’s Quotes #22

[580-581; 495-504] Overall, this year has been really great in my journey to becoming an engineer. I guess, just not being bothered by grades, and putting more of my identity in, I don’t know, just being confident in myself, and not putting my identity in my grades. That was the big thing. I’m like, “I am done putting my identity in my grades and I’m focusing more on myself and the relationships I have with people in my life who’ve influenced me to be better.”

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