[312-325; 334-340] I got my faculty adviser last semester. He is an actual professor in mechanical engineering, so I can talk to him about related issues. He was actually interested in me, which is a lot harder to say for the people in the Central Advising Office. I’m actually going to talk to him in a couple of hours to talk about my next semester. I’m excited for that. I really should go to more office hours, but I’m nervous to talk to my professors. And I’m looking into joining a club in the Engineering College, so I can get more interaction with friends and faculty. I don’t interact much with peers in engineering field, but I’m looking for more. I’m in clubs that are not related to engineering. I was only in a club last semester and we didn’t get much things done. Because a lot of our members were seniors and they were dealing with senior design
Tag: john
[58-115; 302-309] At the end of spring, I failed chemistry class since I wasn’t really interested. I’ve been having a hard time getting through the Gen Eds just because I don’t have the passion for it. I did well on the rest of my classes. That was pretty low for me, but overall I went up. The summer was very nice. I adopted a pigeon. I don’t feel like it’s necessary to censor that. I went back home. I went on vacation, getting ready for my new summer job. I was a camp counselor and a camp instructor. It was fun to interact with a lot of other STEM majors and with a lot of interested young adults. It makes me feel better self-confidence and eye-opening. I went to several tours of places related to engineering. I really want to internship with one of them, so I’m going to contact them privately. I taught soldering, 3-D modeling, SolidWorks, and Rhinoceros 6. Summer was the highest point because that job was very fulfilling. I started to lower down as the summer job ended. I was ready for starting a new semester. Being at home is kind of suffocating just because there’s not much for me to do that is engaging and enriching for my brain. I got a new e-board position. I became the president of a club. That has been a good hobby to get me off of worrying about classes. Lately for the past few weeks, I’ve been on the decline just because I’m retaking Physics 2 for the third time. It is a problem that I still don’t have a plan or the energy to get through them now, so I’m struggling. Another huge problem was that I didn’t have a creative outlet anymore. All of my class are math-based and have nothing to engage me on a creative side, so I started looking to music. I try to do that when I can because it also takes me away from the math monotony. I feel more hopeful that I have been in the past few weeks, and the antidepressants started working. I felt happy to finally feel that way. Overall, it’s expected to be generally lower during the degree because I know for a fact the degree is hard. But going through this experience will be worth it in the long run. I don’t mind a little low point as long as at the end of tunnel I get a fulfilling job and a fulfilling paycheck.
[144-163] For counseling, because each week we had a different camp, we actually had several camps that people could go to. It was called Engineering Careers and was focused on various skills that an engineer should have. We took a tour of Engineering Building in my school. We saw multiple rooms that I haven’t even seen before. We saw various testing labs and huge workshop facilities. The next week, I counseled for games and puzzles. We were off campus to a forest preserve retreat by our school. The camp was all focused-on games and puzzles. A lot of creative thinking instead of strictly like math and engineering such as how to create and them. They had to create their own escape room, the one with the middle schoolers. By interacting with them, it was very nice to see just the development of their ideas. It reminded me of my youngest sister who just started high school.
[164-189] The next week I was an instructor. I instructed for the 3-D design camp. We gave them various challenges, and we tasked them with assembling each Lego into SolidWorks. They had digital helpers to measure everything. Eventually, we could 3-D print the model, so we could do a compare and contrast. The next project was like a key chain project we used Rhinoceros 6. You can do a lot in SolidWorks for assembly and for making precise components, but for Rhinoceros 6 it’s a lot easier to do artistic things. The last project, it was kind of rough. It was making a USB casing with old USB drives that are just lying around. They give out just for free. The project was to design it so you could put the USB drive and its internal components into a 3-D printed case. So we combined some aspects from Rhinoceros 6 with SolidWorks in order for us to actually make something both artistic and practical. The next week, I taught Product Design, which was basically teaching something basic things like woodworking, soldering, and 3-D modeling. I spent a day on each of those aspects and then for the rest of the week they had to design their own product. They had to think of their own unique product that they could eventually sell, theoretically. They were really creative and inspirational kids at some points, really annoying at some points too, but I didn’t mind.
[206-220; 224-237] For the rest of my classes, I have Mechanical Engineering Dynamics. My professor is very understanding and passionate about how he teaches. I really like the way he teaches. The very first day, I introduced myself to him, because I want to make that a habit. I told him about my mental health. He listened and simply stated, “I hope you feel comfortable in this class.” Not only that, but whenever somebody asks a question, he answers it thoroughly. This professor goes in depth and tries to answer everything concisely, so I’m not afraid to ask a question in class. He usually writes on the board. He has his own website where he posts certain things and programs some simulations for us to use. That’s really fun. Just being able to see some of these concepts. He has so much energy in every class that its contagious and makes me interested because he’s doing it in such an interesting way. Every time I go into the class, I feel engaged. I don’t feel like I’m just writing down stuff to write down. When I have a homework assignment from him, I can get through it and learning something really important for me. The other two classes I have are mostly math-based. I have Engineering Economics, which is interesting with a lot of math. I have Differential Equations. It’s my second favorite just because I have a good study group. I’m excited to work through those problems, just because I have a group that I can share it with. I feel like I understand Diff Eqau more than Econ at this point, even though I felt like at the beginning of this semester it was going to be the opposite.
[241-251] There’s this one person who I’ve been studying with since my freshman year. We’re more than just study partners. We’re really good friends. Spending time with them is fun. It’s also easy to study with them because I know them. Getting a study group together is hard because it’s about establishing a time and place, scheduling, and all the logistical stuff. I also have my girlfriend in the class, so I can study with the both of them and overall it’s during that time it’s fun and it feels easier to me to express my ideas.
[7-13] The end of the semester last year I was in two Engineering classes and two […] Let’s see, one was math, and I forget the other one. Going through my mechanical classes was a little rough that time around, so I was concerned I wasn’t going to pass those classes and move on to my next coursework. I ended up looking through my spring semester coursework and I ended up just revamping all of it because I thought I wasn’t going to pass. I changed it so I would have one Engineering class versus three. Then I also tacked on the last few of my pre-reqs. I intended to get those done during the summer, but then summer work became a thing and I decided to take those instead.
[14-20] I ended up just changing that course schedule because I didn’t feel confident about my abilities in those classes. However, surprisingly, I passed all of those classes. I’m happy that I passed, and I don’t regret changing my course load. I think overall it was for the best because the course load that I’m in, it’s helping me deal with […] because last semester was a lot of math, a lot of intense […] it didn’t stimulate my mind that creatively, which I feel is important for me, personally. I was going to be a performing arts major before deciding to be an engineer, so I wanted to see if I needed something stimulating creatively in order to feel a little better.
[66-72] I don’t think the reason I didn’t feel stimulated creatively was more so in engineering overall. I think it’s just with the classes that I had, because it was a lot of the more simple […] I shouldn’t say simple, but it doesn’t have the design aspects that I want. It has the stuff that you deal with while you’re designing, before you’re designing. It was Dynamics and Economics, which were my two engineering classes last semester. Economics I could care less about. However, in dynamics, the professor was really good. I really, really liked him, but […] Actually, no, that class was good. I think it was just the other classes that were kind of all math, all science, nothing that I could incorporate my creative skills.
[76-81] I feel creative in engineering when there’s an aspect of design incorporated in the course. For example, when I’m dealing with a group project where I can talk to other people about design and what we have to do for the project. Those are the times when I feel excited to work on things. When it’s a homework problem with a bunch of numbers just thrown at it, I could do it, I could do the work, it’s just like I wish I had a purpose behind the work other than get a good grade. I guess I just want to get into the design aspects of my major. Overall, I think that’s what I want.
[86-98] I enjoyed my dynamics professor because he was very engaged, very engaged. He made his own website with a bunch of simulation-type games, where you could test out your theories. For example, if I have acceleration in one direction and speed in the other direction, the simulation game could help you determine how long will it take to get to zero, and whatnot. You could test all those things out with the software that he made, that he programmed. He made his own videos for that website about the stuff that he was teaching, kind of like Khan Academy. Basically, that same style of video, just with him. And in class he wasn’t just relegating everything to his website or to his videos, he was actively teaching. If there wasn’t a participant in class, then you weren’t going to get much out of it because he wanted you to participate, and that’s when he started teaching. He wanted to hear all the ideas, even if they were flawed, and oftentimes he would rather go over time discussing things rather than just getting straight to his answer. He was very engaging, he had the right amount of difficulty, not because the class itself was taught in a way that was difficult for me but because the coursework itself was engaging, but it was a difficult subject. He didn’t make it harder than it was, he made it easy to teach, easy to digest, and he gave us work that we had to work for, answers that we needed to work for.
[105-117] The way that my art professor structured his class, it’s basically […] For the first five weeks, we had to turn in three completed projects three weeks in a row. The first two weeks were talking about it and talking about prep and whatnot, but the next three weeks you had to make some intriguing artwork in one week, and then turn it another one the next week, and turn another one on the next week. That whole process in that five weeks you had to brainstorm enough ideas in order to find one that was worth working on. You had to then start making that thing. For me, I did all 3D prints. For other people, they did laser cut stuff. What else? They made metal projects. Some of the students straight-up just did paintings because that’s what they specialize in. He wanted us to go through a process of rapid design and he said, “I want you to make something that is worth looking at and I want you to work through all the mistakes. I want you to see those mistakes and see what you can do later next time. If you make a mistake, then it’s fine if you roll with that mistake and get through it that way.” And I did end up going through with three separate art projects, three different sets of models, and it was stressful, but it was really rewarding at the end. It was just a lot.
[143-148] Working on the project was rewarding because I guess it made me feel like, even though I have no idea how it feels like, it made me feel like an engineer because I had to solve these problems really quickly. For a couple of these mini projects, I had to find shortcuts in order to get through these designs as fast as possible. I had to learn the limitations of the 3D printer and of the amount of time it would take for the 3D printer. I had to learn and adapt really quickly throughout these three weeks in order to make those deadlines. At the end of it I had a product, a solid piece of art, that I could be proud of and I am proud of.
[121-138] One of them I decided to make something that only a 3D printer could do, at least do it well enough in a week. I ended up making a plastic figure. Through one side it looked like a film camera and through another side it looked like a man that’s walking. So, if you just turn the figure it looks like a completely different thing. I also made a box that it’s supposed to sit inside so you could see it at both angles. The next thing I decided to make a pun. On the outside it looked like a piece of poop, and then on the inside, when you take it apart, it looks like a pizza. It’s a pizza crap. That one, I wanted to make something more organic looking through 3D design and it was difficult. Who thought making a piece of poop in CAD was difficult? But it was not fun. Then, the last project I did I wanted to have interlocking parts, all of which did not need support material, because after working with the 3D printer […] After that first project actually, I had to get off so much support material and the support material didn’t look nice, even after I got everything off it still didn’t look like how I wanted it to, so I was like, screw this, I’m not going to have any support material for my next few projects. This very last one I made these parts interlocking. There was a hole at the bottom and then an insert on one of the sides, and through the design process I was like, how do I make it so that I don’t need any support material and that I don’t have to clean this up? I messed around, I did some research, and by the end of it I had four pieces that all interlocked together, and it did not need any support material. I think it was cool
[156-162] I valued my art professor because he cares about me, genuinely. Over the summer, I ended up teaching a summer camp for 3D modeling. I taught an entire day of that camp in his classroom. He even gave a little, not lecture, but he showed up, he did an interview with the kids and whatnot. He’s shown me ways where, even though he’s mostly an artist, he still has to deal with a lot of the problems that engineering does, mainly because his designs are just how to get around that. What else? He’s funny. He has one-on-one sessions with every one of his students in his intermediate class. He knows everyone’s strong suits already or he knows that there’s things that people […] I feel like I’m rambling. He’s very good at his job.
[34-40] My other course is mechanics and materials. It’s really giving me a hard time, not to the point where I think I should not be in engineering, but it’s just the course. The way my professor teaches the course, it’s rough. There’s very little online help that he could provide. All of his notes are in person, and they go by super-fast. It’s not very helpful for me, where I like to instead of looking at my notes, because my notes are not always the best, I like to just look at the slides, whatever extra material, over and over again just so I can get it right. The way that he teaches, it’s just not very helpful for me. I’ll probably retake that class, which I don’t mind. Yes, I don’t mind retaking a course that I actually really need to know.
[168-181] I’ve had the mechanics and materials professor once before. However, this professor, it’s hard for me to understand what he’s teaching because he doesn’t read the room very well. When people ask questions, he doesn’t understand the question all the time, so when he’s trying to answer the question, it kind of makes it more confusing. He’s certainly not a bad professor, he’s just not one that I’m more accustomed to, or I’m predisposed to. I guess, because I don’t like taking notes. It’s been a bad habit of mine since high school where I just can’t take the best notes. Combined with that, in my classes I’m shy, so I don’t have the guts to talk to people around me and ask what I miss. It’s not entirely the professor’s fault. I went to his office hours, I talked to him about some of the things that I’ve been struggling with, and he was very, very kind. He even loaned me his book when I couldn’t get a copy, the same edition that he wanted, so he ended up loaning it to me. I was going to take pictures of the homework that I would need to complete. I don’t think I ended up doing that because I think I was going through some mental health stuff then. But overall, he’s a good professor. He’s not my type of professor. I’ll really need to rethink how my classroom habits are so I can go to this class again next semester.
[49-54] Aside from stress from work, extracurriculars, and school impact my mental health. Overall, my mental health has been getting better since last year. Overall, I think I just need to lower my workload with extracurriculars. Work is kind of unavoidable because I want to be in an apartment next school semester, so work is one thing. Extracurriculars, I feel I can fall back on. Maybe in a year I’ll be out of the extracurriculars. Then school, I still need to […] finding a good habit for school work is still something that I think I actively avoid. It’s a problem for me, so I need to find that for myself.
[193-198] I think one of the main reasons why I went into extracurricular activities was so I could stress out about something else other than school. I mean, other than seeing friends and feeling like I’m a part of something, other than those feelings, a lot of that was finding something else to stress out about other than school and actually working on myself for academic work. I should put more focus on my academics, as much as I don’t want to, as much as I want to just take these classes and get by, that’s not going to happen very well for my next classes coming up.
[203-207] I’m currently the president of an E-Sports Club, which is the biggest sports club on campus. This is my only curricular activity for this semester, for this school year actually. Last school year I was a part of three big organizations, and it was bad then. I thought it would be better now that it would only be one, but I took on a presidency instead of a different role, so it’s still a lot. There’s a lot of promises that I made to myself about the club that I want to achieve, and I guess I was putting a lot of that pressure on myself, so I just ended up getting over-stressed or overwhelmed
[250-258]And more often than not, the thing that relieves my stress the most is just getting something done. Such an insane concept, just finishing something. I think for me, procrastinating is a double-edged sword. It provides temporary relief, not long time, and I still need to get over that.
With the health insurance and the physical therapy, that I’m still kind of salty about, but I can’t really do much right now until the stay-at-home order ends. Then dealing with all the COVID business, still dealing with it. I’m on campus, which I think is healthier for me versus staying at home. I still get free food, even though I’m out of a job the University is still paying me, so I feel like I’ll be fine. It’s just the schoolwork that’s really going to suffer. Procrastinating was a problem before and it’s been a bigger problem now.
[274-279] I do have a therapist on campus and they’re currently trying to get a teletherapy thing started. There were a few places on campus where I knew that my friends would be because they worked there, so I would go there often. The arena itself, the E-Sports computer lab, I use that place a lot for general relaxation and sometimes studying. It’s just now that I’m cooped up in the dorms it’s just like I have to rework my mind and make sure I don’t fall asleep in the same place where I do my homework.
[301-303] I don’t have many interactions with my peers in engineering. I wish I had more because I’m a little shy and intimidated by my peers. I’m not sure if there is a reason, I know personally I can talk to girls a lot easier than guys, I’m not sure why, I just can. Because there’s not that many girls in Engineering, it’s just harder for me to approach people.
[307-310] My intimidation may be due to an inferiority complex-type thing where I’m constantly comparing myself to other people. It’s just like, I know I don’t need to do that, but it just happens. Then what else? Yeah, some part of it is like I don’t want to sound stupid. It’s just a lot of little insecurities that you add up and then I just don’t have the ability to talk to somebody who very well could help me.
[328-333] Overall, I think I’m making some good steps, good progress. It’s hard to say that I’ll be done next year, I think I’ll have at least another year, which I am completely fine with. I’m taking advances to improve me, my mental health, my physical health. I’m taking steps to improve me, rather than continue on my degree as fast as I could. I could have taken two more engineering classes if I really wanted to, but I decided to work on myself. Hopefully, by the end of my next two years I’m at least a healthy person, if I’m not an engineer. I’d rather make sure I’m okay.
[342-347] In addition to ensuring that I’m okay, over the summer, if all of this COVID stuff goes by, I hope to be a camp counselor or a camp instructor. The instructor pays more, so I hope to be that more often than not. That job opened a lot of doors for me, so I want to continue on with that one. Then getting out of college, I hope to do something similar to the company I visited last year where it has a lot of those opportunities to be in the engineering design process.