Wait! Come back!! Don’t stop reading now!
Still with me? Good. So you’re a fan. Not of me, but of baseball, I meant.
I was once a baseball-first guy. I loved the sport, and my dream was to play in the major leagues. But I see the major-league level a little differently these days.
In fact, I can’t remember the last time I watched every pitch of an entire game. And I used to do it almost nightly on WTCG and then WTBS. Man, how did I have that much free time?
What changed? First, it was free agency. Seeing millionaires chase even more millions instead of being loyal to a team and its fans cost me my loyalty to the sport. That’s when I revolted by picking up fantasy baseball, which was a fairly easy transition since statistics were a big part of my love for the game anyway. One of my best-ever birthday presents as a boy was a 1978 version of the Encyclopedia of Baseball. Some people might find it no more interesting than a dictionary. But for me it unlocked the treasures of seasons past.
Second — and I think television had a lot to do with this — the game became slow to me. I used to watch all of those postseason games for the Oakland Athletics and Atlanta Braves — every minute — from the late 1980s to the turn of the century and a few years after that. Hanging on every foul ball, strikeout, and game-changing hit. I had played the game, I knew the game, and I enjoyed the strategy.
But it was just the other day when I heard New York Yankees announcer Suzyn Waldman gush about an almost four-hour nine-inning game being mesmerizing and thrilling that I realized how far removed I am from admiring the sport.
I think the game needs a clock. Just think if batters had to run to home plate instead of that anti-athletic leisurely stroll while some completely annoying song is playing. Maybe it would be an automatic strike if the batter isn’t in the box and ready to go 10 seconds after the previous batter is finished. Get that sign from the third-base coach? Better be a speed reader. And once you’re in the box, you can’t leave. It’s a strike if you step out of the box. Better not do it with a 2-2 count!
Then the pitcher would have five seconds to start his windup, or the umpire would call a ball.
What? Guys would have to think faster? You mean like basketball players do with a 24-second shot clock, or football players with the 40-second play clock? I can hear the whine already: “But it’s baseball, and we need time to think.”
But see, that’s what makes basketball so entertaining. What is more impressive: one of those Steph Curry or Kyrie Irving drives to the basket, split-second decision after split-second decision, OR Clayton Kershaw tugging at his jersey as he lumbers back to the rubber, looking in at the catcher, casually deciding whether the catcher’s pitch sign fits his mood at the time, and then, unless the batter steps out or Kershaw shakes off the catcher, maybe we get to see a pitch? Or maybe the batter calls timeout to take a deep breath? Or maybe the pitching coach comes out of the dugout for a pep talk? Or maybe the catcher... arrrrrrggghhhh!
You see, baseball people have too much time on their hands. So they sit in the dugout and think up player nicknames, find different ways to say twelve (come on, 1, 2) or twenty-two (lets go, twos), or even standard baseball terms like curveball (Uncle Charlie), fastball (aspirin tablet), home run (big fly), or maybe line drive (frozen rope).
But a lot of those are old school, so baseball has invented — while waiting for another pitch to be thrown — a whole bunch of new things to make you think you don't really know the game. If you buy into it, you will need experts to help you understand "launch angle” or “exit velocity” or “wins above replacement.” Truth is you don't need to know those things. Nobody is talking about LeBron James’ launch angle when takes a shot, or the exit velocity of a ball coming out of Cam Newton’s hand, or Jimmy Garoppolo’s WAR compared to Tom Brady.
Baseball people also come up with annoying superstitions. What else is there to do when the catcher visits the mound for the fourth time in the inning. Do you ever see football players with their helmet on backwards on the sideline?
At least baseball lets people cheer for the athletes during the process of play. Come on golf and tennis, let your guard down. Wait, that's another column.
Baseball is still a good game. But for a world so fast, baseball’s pace may not win the hearts of the next generation.