Sure, Twitter has its moments.
There’s the time of the day when everything is going terribly and someone sends over a tweet from We Rate Dogs of a dog that looks like a bear, and you’re like hey, maybe the world isn’t a terrible place.
But if we’ve learned anything from the scandal of the alleged burner accounts of 76ers executive Bryan Colangelo, which comes after the time that Kevin Durant tweeted about hating everyone and everything about the Thunder (OK, that’s a slight exaggeration) and even Steve Kerr trying to send a DM and sending a tweet instead and all of the things that have gone wrong in between, there’s been a lot of trouble on the Twitter for NBA players. And that’s just NBA players. We’re not even getting into what Roseanne did yesterday.
So that brings me – with apologies from the very nice people at Twitter’s public relations department who are about to email me – to one conclusion: Joel Embiid should be the only one allowed on Twitter.
Look, it’s for everyone’s own good. Embiid can provide updates on The Process:
The perfect responses to situations like this weird burner Twitter scandal:
Joel told me that @samhinkie IS BETTER AND SMARTER THAN YOU @AlVic40117560 #BurnerAccount — Joel Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) May 30, 2018
And say the right thing, even if he’s maybe lying:
Fun night on Twitter lmao.. All jokes asides I don’t believe the story. That would just be insane — Joel Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) May 30, 2018
There’s a reason why he was For The Win’s 2017 Twitter User of the Year.
My bad y’all , I thought I was using my burner account #TheProcess — Joel Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) October 14, 2017
And perhaps, maybe, he should be the only one?
(And no, I’m not deleting my account until everyone else does).