Our countdown of the day’s top newsmakers, groundbreakers and world-class fakers by Kevin Cusick.
10. (tie) SERENA WILLIAMS
Good luck getting that Catwoman suit approved for Wimbledon. (previous ranking: unranked)
10. (tie) DANIEL CRAIG
Why did 007 change his mind and come back? A check with a lot of double O’s. (unranked)
10. (tie) DONALD TRUMP JR.
The only thing worse than obscenely racist tweets are the trolls who retweet them. (unranked)
9. ERIC GREITENS
Lucky he had the Missouri governor’s job he could exchange as part of his plea bargain. (unranked)
8. ANTHONY BARR
Viking’s one-day sabbatical will really affect his bargaining position. Or not. (unranked)
7. (tie) RUDOLPH GIULIANI
Now draws more Yankee Stadium boos than your typical Red Sox visitor. (unranked)
7. (tie) KIM KARDASHIAN
Oval Office hasn’t hosted such celebrity since the last time Monica Lewinsky visited. (unranked)
6. VEGAS GOLDEN KNIGHTS
Stanley Cup opener had a lot more Siegfried and Roy than it did Gretzky and Orr. (unranked)
5. VOLCANOES
Pro tip: Lava flows make your marshmallows taste much too lavaly. (unranked)
4. LEBRON JAMES
Very comparable to Michael Jordan, except that he’s probably much better at hitting a curveball. (unranked)
3. FRANCE’S “SPIDERMAN”
Saves a toddler hanging off a balcony while the boy’s father was busy playing Pokemon Go. Really. (unranked)
2. HOUSTON ROCKETS
When you miss 27 treys in a row, you’ve lost the right to play any more basketball. (unranked)
1. ROSEANNE BARR
Like Alex Jones and David Duke had a baby … (unranked)
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES
Willie Nelson, Chelsea Manning, “Deadliest Catch”, Valerie Jarrett, Bryan Colangelo, Nicki Minaj and Eminem, Brandon Marshall, Rhys Hoskins’ face, Tom Wilson, Harvey Weinstein, Morgan Freeman, Donald Trump, Byron Buxton, Danica Patrick, Rachel Dolezal, Golden State Warriors, bears, Julian Assange, Phil Hughes, Josh Freeman, “The Happytime Murders”, Alan Bean, Will Power, Michelle Fischbach, Subtropical Storm Alberto.
You can hear Kevin Cusick on Wednesdays on Bob Sansevere’s “BS Show” podcast on iTunes. You can follow Kevin on Twitter — @theloopnow.