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And breathe: The opening weekend of the new Premier League season is barely over and already we're reading the doomsday scripts at Stamford Bridge.
Champions Chelsea were humbled 3-2 by Burnley at home, and it's led to a meltdown across social media. The in-fighting is far-reaching, from debate over the club's title chances to the starting XI and the transfer targets club owner Roman Abramovich should be investing his vast fortune on.
Whichever way you look at it, the situation is a mess. It's been bubbling under the surface all summer amid a perceived lack of transfer activity, and the defeat to Burnley has amplified the worst fears of those who follow the Blues.
But then again this is social media. Where would we be without our timelines being overrun with emotion and kneejerk reactions to a so-called crisis?
Join us as we debunk some of the biggest overreactions from Chelsea's opening-weekend defeat.
Warning: Some tweets feature NSFW language.
Gary Cahill shouldn't be Chelsea captain
If the Chelsea bench had fans worried before kick-off against Burnley—only Alvaro Morata of all the subs was a recognised first-team player—then Gary Cahill's red card after 14 minutes sent supporters into meltdown.
It was the moment that changed the game and ultimately what won Burnley all three points. With a one-man advantage, the Clarets capitalised as Chelsea lost their heads, going into half-time 3-0 down. There was no coming back from that, despite the Blues' best efforts.
The backlash where the England international is concerned has been exaggerated, though. The in-fighting among fans across social media has amplified a problem that shouldn't be there: the legitimacy of Cahill as John Terry's permanent replacement as Chelsea captain.
By full-time on Saturday, the hashtag #NotMyCaptain was trending across social media in a ridiculous attempt for some fans to show their disdain.
It wasn't a kneejerk reaction, more a show of petulance that has gone on for too long, stretching back to last season when Cahill captained Chelsea to the title.
Cahill has long been an easy target on social media. He's not a star in the same way that Eden Hazard and Cesc Fabregas are. He doesn't make headlines away from the pitch and pull in never-ending endorsement deals that put him on billboards across the world's major cities.
He isn't going to adorn the cover of video games such as FIFA or PES any time soon.
Cahill is a footballer in the traditional sense. He lives his public life on the pitch and a quiet one off it. He is a man of substance, who has worked his way to the top and not through an elite academy or pampered surroundings.
For some, that isn't good enough. For some, that taints him and makes him unworthy of the armband at Chelsea, regardless of the fact he has won every major club honour since joining the Blues in 2012. In this current side, he is the club's longest-serving player.
Being captain of a team isn't about being the best player. For many years, Terry wasn't Chelsea's No. 1, but he was the club's best symbol. He represented the Blues in so many ways that matchdays were only a part of the role.
Look at Chelsea in this moment and there isn't a better man to do that than Cahill.
"Burnley wanted it more than Chelsea"
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Ah, yes. That old chestnut.
If desire alone won football matches, clubs wouldn't be spending billions every summer in the hunt for the most talented stars to win them titles.
We can rest assured knowing Paris Saint-Germain didn't pay Barcelona a record £200 million for Neymar this summer because he runs a lot and has a burning desire to win football matches. They did so because of his undoubted ability to turn matches on their heads and twist the blood of opponents.
According to Alan Shearer's assessment on Match of the Day this weekend, that's what it boiled down to, though. Burnley wanted the three points more than Chelsea, and it's why the Blues lost.
Sure, desire plays a part, but it's far from everything. It's lazy to suggest otherwise. If only Chelsea's problems were that simple.
The Blues were outdone at Stamford Bridge through a lack of application and a summer that has dredged up the problems of old. There's an unsettled dressing room, with manager Antonio Conte showing all the signs of a man who is frustrated with the lack of support he has received in the transfer market.
Then there's the Diego Costa situation, which isn't going away.
Chelsea were caught cold against Burnley, and their problems are stacking up. But a lack of desire? Far from it.
Chelsea fans booed the players off the pitch
In May, Chelsea players were being cheered off to their summer holidays, lauded as kings for winning a second Premier League title in three years. Fast-forward to early August and they were being booed off by supporters after their shocking loss to the Clarets.
Wrong.
When the final whistle was blown, Chelsea fans were booing referee Craig Pawson for his performance and not the players. It was the same at half-time when supporters inside the stadium jeered as the match official walked down the tunnel.
Chelsea fans were annoyed and frustrated with what they saw as Pawson influencing the game with his decision to dismiss Cahill and then Fabregas late on at a time when it looked like the Blues could salvage a point.
It wasn't anything to do with the players. Indeed, soon after the boos at the final whistle, Chelsea fans started singing in support of the champions.
The referee had a bad performance
Imagine the angst on the terraces. You've been waiting all summer for the start of a new season, and within 14 minutes, the referee is ruining your team's opening game by sending off your captain.
And just as the fightback from 3-0 down is gathering momentum in the latter stages, the same official steps in to dismiss another player—this time your most creative midfielder.
That was the scenario Chelsea supporters faced with Pawson on Saturday, and it led to all sorts of accusations about his ability to officiate football matches.
Well, sorry Chelsea supporters, but you're wrong. Pawson didn't get everything right on Saturday, but he got the big decisions nailed on. Cahill and Fabregas—who had earlier been booked for an act of petulance—each deserved their red cards.
Rather than point the finger at match officials, Chelsea need to get their act together. As Conte pointed out at the end of the game, in the Blues' last three competitive matches, they've had four players sent off.
It's either a conspiracy or a lack of discipline in the Chelsea squad. We know which one we're going for on that spectrum.